Late night inspiration

I don't know how many times I've started a sentence with ," I was lying in bed last night thinking and ..." So often when I am nursing Ivy to sleep my mind gets pierced by (what seems like) an incredible thought. When I visualize these inspirations I am reminded of this cathedral by Corbusier called Notre-Dame-du-Haut in France ( I would dearly love to see this someday). The way the light comes through the tiny windows into a dark room is what inspiration feels like to me. But what do you do with that inspiration the next day? So often I rethink my inspiring idea and think "yeah, and you will look like a RAVING LUNATIC!" That is usually where the idea dies. So I have two questions: Where does inspiration come from and where does it lead? How do you know if your wild idea will lead to your downfall and humiliation or to the life you really want. Is there some kind of test you can give your inspiration that I don't know about? Usually my ideas involve doing something bold to get more of the life I want right now. Perhaps I just need to jump in. Now I'm reminded of that scene from Finding Nemo where the two fish are hanging on the edge of the whales mouth... where Dory thinks they should let go and Nemo's dad says, "How do we know it won't swallow us etc..." and Dory says "We don't" That is a very rough translation but you get the point. Perhaps I just need to let go and follow the inspirations and let humiliation come as it may. I'm feeling all inspired now to follow my inspiration. I'll let you know how it goes.

A bright sunshiney day

I know this pic is kind of blurry, but it captures the way I see Liv these days. There are so many thoughts going on in her head and I can see that sorting process going on here. I remember how confusing the world was at six. Liv tries so hard to sort it all out. Sometimes I am amazed at the questions she comes up with but I'm even more amazed at the answers she comes up with. She's quite the thinker this one.

Today she brought me her magna-doodle to look at. It had a picture of a tower with three sets of letter pairs beside it, one above the other. The pairs were : xi, ra, pr. She told me it was a word and wondered if I could read it. I couldn't and I'll give a hundred bucks to anyone who can! The word was...skyscraper! She's learning phonics with my mom and she must have mixed up the "ks" sound of x for "sk." It is so cool to see a child learn this way - truly through trial and error without any fear of disappointing anyone or having to do it right. Tonight we had a hilarious game of making up silly and naughty sentences for her to read on the magna-doodle. "Can a cat see?" eventually became "Can a hat pee?" I want to be free enough to learn this way - through play. You can make all the mistakes you want when you are playing and nobody cares - in fact the mistakes are part of the laugh.


And as for this scruffy child who wouldn't let me change her shirt for 48hrs... well she gave me the laugh of the day today. After dinner we were eating homemade chocolate chip cookies and Ivy came to me asking for another one (empty hand out with a question on her face..."cookie?"). I asked her where her cookie went and she pointed waaaay down her throat. I laughed and told her that her cookie was in her tummy now - and then I listened to her tummy and told her that I could hear it. She thought this was hilarious and went over to daddy to see what he thought of all this. She held out her empty hand and said "cookie?" and then pointed to her mouth and then her tummy. He then asked her where his cookie had gone. She crawled up onto his chest and looked into his open mouth...and at the top of her lungs yelled "coooookiee..." into his mouth. She is quite the funny girl.

Supergirl and her Supercousin

Overheard in our little grey house...a conversation between two true friends:

Liv: I have superpowers.

Libby: Oh.

I could have just run in and kissed Libby when I heard that! Liv had said the same thing earlier this week to four kids in the daycare only to be met with laughter, disbelief, and taunts. Her comment wasn't said in the context of a game, it was said in the same way she'd say, "I have a cat," or "I'm six now you know." Aargh! It was so hard to hear her being treated that way! When I heard her say the same thing to Libby I held my breath but Libby, for whatever reason, treated this comment like it was completely normal. Isn't that the sign of a true friend - one who accepts your eccentricity. Libby is Liv's cousin, and I am very thankful that she is in Liv's life. There is something special about cousins - they are like sisters without the competition and jealousy. Ivy just adores her older cousin Maggie. They are nine years apart but Ivy can't get enough of her. If I say we are going to the store she says "Maggie?" If I say we are going to grandma's I get "Maggie?" She is so good with her - I'm pretty sure the affection goes both ways. Well - all this to say that we love those girls (and we love their parents too!).

Miss Ivy turns two

Well this is what I was doing two years ago today. Giving birth to my dear little Ivy. She was born into a pool of warm water in our dining room. I can hardly remember the pain now - I just look at this photo and remember the feeling of awe that a new baby brings. That seems like it was so long ago, and yet I can hardly believe how fast she's grown.


Here is Ivy on her first birthday. She really enjoyed her cake and ice cream that night. She certainly has a sweet tooth - chocolate is just about the best thing in the world to her. If I have chocolate chips in the house she does not forget. She drags me into the kitchen, points to the shelf where they are kept and demands chocolate until I am broken with laughter and give in. I can relate - I have a weakness there too.

So today Ivy woke up singing. She sat happily beside us in bed until we woke up. I said ,"Who's turning two today" and she said "Me!" We then traipsed upstairs to open gifts. She knew what to do today and she knew they were all for her. She received lots of lovely puzzles a red tricycle , a springy tunnel and some clogs. She's still at the stage where opening the present is fun in itself.


We had an open house for Ivy's party. Her great-grandparents came as did her grandparents, auntie, uncle, cousins , and friends. It was really relaxing and fun (noisy!). Anyhow - here are the photos I promised of Ivy at two. Here she is - a sick day in mama's arms - photo taken by Liv,

being goofy in the backyard last fall... swimming goggles are way more fun when you are not swimming,

picking flowers in the frontyard... those curls - I love those curls,
trick-or-treating in her ladybug costume that was made by an awesome daddy,
and chilling out with that same daddy on a friend's lawn.


So Miss Ivy, I love you sooooo much! Being your mama is great fun. Every day I wonder at how amazing and unique you are. You are a girl who knows what she wants - tonight you wanted to wear rubber boots to bed and there was no way we could convince you otherwise. When you want a story, you pick the nearest person over two who is sitting and bring them a pile of books and command them to "ree,ree". You don't wait for a reply - you just plunk your self down knowing they can't refuse your charms.

My favorite memory of you this year is the day we decided to play camping in the living-room with Olivia. We were having a pretend campfire and decided to use real marshmallows to roast over our pretend fire. I forgot that I had hidden the chocolate chip stash in the marshmallow bag to keep them out of your sight. Well you plunged your hand into the bag looking for a marshmallow and your eyes were suddenly as big as pies! "Mama!" was all you said as you felt the chocolates in the bag. You knew what they were before you'd even seen them. Oh they joy of finding chocolate in unexpected places! You were quiet for the rest of the game -engrossed in your find.

I love you my dear and I hope your third year is a time of peace and connection (because I think you need that after the busy year we've had). You are deeply loved by your sister and daddy too. A kiss on the nose for you,

Mama

A very good day

How can a one year old, a two year old, a five year old and a six year old not have a good day when this is in your backyard! The kids have been mesmerized by the action behind our house for the last couple of weeks. All this construction is due to a new development that is being built in the hills far above our little grey house. They are chewing up the beautiful hills to build very expensive resort homes for very rich people from cities very far away and this is making me very very sad. But I digress...our good day...

After a morning digger watching we had an afternoon of volcano making -
painting in the nude ( miss Ivy) -

and looking for dinosaur bones and Jupiter stones.


While the kids were enjoying themselves I had my first day in the garden. Spring is coming! I raked and pulled dead plants out. I gathered up the last of the leaves that we missed last year. It was wonderful to be outside. This will be my second year gardening and I'm quite excited. Do you think it's a bad omen that I accidentally broke off the flower from my very first crocus? It was there and then - in my exuberance to clear away dead leaves to make it more visible I must have knocked it off. I spied it later in a pile of leaves as I was raking the lawn. I felt like a mother bird who has just let a chick fall out of the nest. Anyhow - I will go forward and hope for the best. Off to bed now - I have six kids tomorrow - should be interesting.

Introducing Miss Ivy

Here is miss Ivy or Ivy Bee as I like to call her for no particular reason. Ivy will turn two next week. I will post a bunch of photos of her before then (for the grandparents who are missing all of this). I've been thinking a lot about how Ivy is tackling language. She has a small vocabulary, but she is using the words she knows to her advantage. I'm curious about the different ways children go about learning to talk and how this relates to their learning style. Ivy is heavy on kinesthetic abilities ( she has a wicked over hand throw, can kick balls, and bead her own bracelets with tiny beads). I guess I shouldn't be surprised then that her vocabulary is loaded with words that help her get things done the way she wants them. Words like back, away, right here, and that, are the ones that get used over and over again all day. She is the queen of language simplification. She uses the word back in so many situations and different ways - for example - if she wants me to rub her back she will lie on the bed and say "back", but if she is holding a cup and wants a different one she will point to the cupboard and say "back" as in " put this back". "That" is used in combination with the pointed finger to ask what things are, but it is also used to get us to do something for her. She may take my hand and say "that" and point to her puzzle if she wants me to do it with her. Yesterday she came out with "help". It was said in a very calm way while trying to get on a chair, but then she used it over and over again all day. That's a powerful word. Today she came out with "right here" while we were doing a puzzle. She has such a strong drive to explore and her acquisition of language seems to be serving that drive. I don't suppose this is that interesting to anyone but me. I cant' help but watch with awe as my kids grow and learn. I can see so clearly in my kids the force of life that is in all of us and I want to respect that force. It is that force of life that urges them forward on their very unique path. It saddens me that as a society we think we need to interfere with children's individual paths of growth and put them in factory schools that force them to conform or question themselves. Schools dumb down the beautiful reality of life - but why? Just watch a child find her own way to communicate... they are as brilliant as the stars.